What To Do When You Hate Your Bff’s Boyfriend
What is the best option when you find yourself not liking your bestie’s significant other? Voice your opinion or bite your tongue every time his name pops up?
Do you find yourself constantly biting your tongue when it comes to your BFF’s relationship? Now, just so you know, I’m a very opinionated person but I was advised to keep my mouth shut (not easy) and let it play out, I did that and it worked, spoiler alert, shutting up kinda works! See what you can/should do if you ever find yourself in this situation:
1. Sometimes you should just butt out
If your issues stem from superficial things, like the money he earns, car he drives or that he’s still using a taxi or maybe he’s not all that when it comes to the ‘looks’ department, girl you need to sit down! That is something your friend should worry about.
2. Listen to your girl
Pay close attention to what your bestie says about him and their relationship. You know your friend, you know what makes her happy, you also know when she is faking it, if she appears to be genuinely happy with her man, let her be. However, if you see him doing something shady behind your friend’s back, then all bets are off, SMACK DOWN TIME! (Calm down, I’m joking, this is hard, just read on),
3. Get all the 411
So she finally broke up with that guy (the dud), but is now considering taking him back. Before you speak against it, plan a ladies night out and get all the deets! Maybe it was just a misunderstanding that led to the break up or maybe he really has changed (uhm…), it happens so just chill. If he’s an abuser, don’t let her take him back!
4. Give him a second chance
Maybe the reason you don’t like the guy is because he didn’t make a good first impression, give him a chance to redeem himself, it’s only fair, maybe he’s not so bad once you get to know him. Try hanging out with them more, who knows, he might end up becoming your friend as well, which will work perfectly for both of you if your friend decides to settle down with him.
5. If all else fails just try to avoid him
So you’ve tried doing everything mentioned above and at the end you still come out hating him, just avoid the dude. If you don’t want to find yourself in a third wheel situation, rather opt for a ladies night out and avoid talking to him when you don’t really have to.
6. Don’t push your friend away
You don’t want to lose your friend at the end of this. Maybe she’ll notice that something is off. Don’t push her to break up with him or bad mouth him whenever you get a chance because like any other girlfriend, she’ll feel the need to defend her man and it will make her annoyed at you.
If he is cheating on her, abusing her or hitting on you, talk to your friend, let her know that you love her, and that you always have her best interests at heart. Be patient with her, be approachable, if she’s in an abusive relationship, she’s going to need someone to talk to and know that it might take time for her to end things with him.
By Thina Mthembu